The Month Of So Many Lessons To Be Learned.

August 2018.

It is a month that has been tough to me.
I watched people leaving for goods, and people leaving me for his good.
I screwed up my face due to vanity.
The terrible feeling of missing someone when you know he is unreachable.
The feeling of work does not progress due to personal matters.
Insecurities..
Missing home...
etc..etc..

I know these are just some lessons for me to learn, for me to stand up on my two feet with my chin up.
I need time to heal, mentally and physically.
I just have to be strong and be surrounded with good friends that you know they will be truthful and transparent about you.

I know at this age, I should take this as something light.
But, I cannot control the depth of emotion that i gave into all these matters.

Well, of course I have good news too. Had my HIV test and the result was good. Nothing detected so I am HIV-.(Yeayyy..what a relief)

But, August going to pass soon. Its just a matter of time..

At the end of the day, I know August will teach me about patience, accepting, strong, and loneliness is not something you have to worry about.

For now, I will deal with all the problems wisely.

P/S: I sent Ian to airport this morning. He is leaving to Jakarta and will start his new job with Air Asia Malaysia as cabin crew. Me and Mac wish you all the best.Good Luck Ian.

The Evening When The Dinner Wasn't a Dinner

Another evening I felt pathetic. Seems like being in a relationship is not meant for me. Try dating again, but seems like not my luck. The next thing i knew, that guy cooked dinner for me for a reason. He was fully prepared to say the words.. So, he just wanna be friend. and there goes again my time, and emotion that I've invested.. to be honest, i was very sad cuz i've been warned about 'him'. But, me being me...and never listen.

Anyway, i need time to heal now. I might do something crazy to myself soon..

Wait and see..